But together we can sow powerful seeds….


But together we can sow powerful seeds….

~ I said recently in a Facebook post that in my opinion, our Industry needs to change. We are the only ones who can make those changes a reality! Whether PDI or ADI we need to maintain and develop our training methods independently of the mainstream choice.
We need to upskill for the right reasons; for our own development and enjoyment but ultimately for the development of our Drivers.

1 in 5 New Drivers are involved in a serious crash within the first 6 months of driving!

Could we help reduce that statistic? I believe so.
I do not intend to offend, so please bear with me. I am not referring to the amount of effort you put into your work.

I would like to explain what I mean if you are content to read further.


The DVSA have upgraded the Part 3 and Standards Check as part of an initiative that began well over 30 years ago.
Amongst other things, those changes were aimed at improving road safety by introducing ‘The Three Es’:
 – Engineering
 – Education
 – and Enforcement

ENGINEERING:

The engineering success stories are heroic, substantially lowering the KSI (Killed & Seriously Injured) statistics over the years. We have a huge array of things like crumple zones, head restraints, airbags and seat belt advances. The PPE for Motorcyclists is likewise literally ingenious and lifesaving!

But other lifesaving initiatives like modern car bumpers that deflect pedestrians upwards if hit by a car, and the removal of car emblems from the bonnet, have made massive differences to injuries sustained when pedestrians are hit by a car. Even tucking the windscreen wipers below the bonnet line has made a substantial difference in the severity of injuries.

The list of safety-related design improvements is amazing!!


Let’s not forget the actual road improvements; the introduction of cat’s eyes, efficient water drainage and surfaces with more grip, reflective paint and rumble strips. Advances in tyre technologies for water dispersal, vehicle braking systems like ABS and the latest computerised Driver-assist technologies are superb!

Vehicles and roads are much better and safer!

So we can see that the intended ‘Engineering’ changes of 30 years ago are ongoing. During my own experience of nursing in my teens and early 20s I was conscious of the number of people suffering paralysis following road traffic collisions. The introduction of the humble head restraint is one of my favourite safety interventions! Of course, whiplash is still a major concern with impact injuries, but I am pleased to know head restraints are a standard fitting now.

The head restraint has made a majestic difference to the quality of life following a collision.



ENFORCEMENT:

The second ‘E’ was Enforcement. This has been a huge arena for changes too! There have been acts in parliament updating Laws, Penalties, and legislation. Legal requirements were introduced for seat belt use, tyre condition/tread depth, and alcohol/drug use amongst other things.

In Essex alone, during November 2023 the Police handled:
 – 133 seat belt offences.

 – 116 drink drive arrests
 – 102 drug drive arrests

 – 106 mobile phone offences

Concerning the ‘Fatal Four’ (the top 4) factors in Fatal Collisions, ‘Not Wearing a Seat Belt’ has replaced falling asleep at the wheel. [Speed, Drink/Drugs, Phone/distractions, and No Seat Belt]

 
Advancements in enforcement technologies to aid prosecution like breathalysers, speed cameras and ANPR technologies (Automatic Number Plate Recognition) have made a substantial difference.
There are road tax and insurance databases that give the police instant access to enable on-road action. The latest handheld and static cameras can detect vehicles over half a mile away and can also detect mobile phone and seat belt offences at the same time!
I am just giving a few examples here as I know you understand what I mean. Please bear in mind that the Speed issue is not solely from being over the legal limit, but also connected with ‘the wrong speed at the wrong time’ (Driving without due care and attention).

EDUCATION:

The third ‘E’ is about Education. This covers a massive spectrum of things in my opinion.


How much has the Driving Test changed since the 1980s (for us oldies who remember!!)?

We have had:

  • The introduction of a Theory Test rather than 3 questions at the end of the Practical test.
  • Subsequent additions like the Hazard perception test, Scenarios, and computerisation of the test.
  • Then we have the Practical test changes; Independent Driving, alternative manoeuvres, use of Sat Nav, Show Me Tell Me questions and on-the-move ones too.
  • Stopping and moving off from the right-hand side of the road, which will have been researched before its introduction. It stretches a new driver’s observational techniques amongst other things.
  • Forward and reverse bay parking were wonderful additions for obvious reasons.


So, the Theory and Practical Tests have been redefined and developed in line with research and data analysis.
The intention was to create more knowledgeable New Drivers with more advanced basic skills attained before they were on the roads driving independently.


The sad fact is that one in 5 new drivers are involved in a serious collision within the first 6 months of driving. More on this topic later in this blog.



Another Educational implementation was the introduction of the Police Diversionary Courses designed and run by UKROEd and NDORS.


“The idea of having re-education rather than prosecution for driving offences was first raised in the North Report in the late 1980s.[1] The report stated that “it must be in the public interest to rectify a fault rather than punish the transgressor” and “retraining of traffic offenders may lead to an improvement in their driving, particularly if their training is angled towards their failings”.[2]
[ reference https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Driver_Offender_Retraining_Scheme

Education rather than prosecution! I am a fan of the courses!

Examples of the Police Diversionary Courses are:

 – National Speed Awareness Course
 – What’s Driving Us Course

 – Safe and Considerate Driving Course

 – National Motorway Awareness Course

These Courses are all about re-education rather than receiving points on a Driving Licence. Findings have shown a significant reduction in re-offending rates compared to fixed penalties alone. Delivery of these types of courses makes up the majority of my working week. I deliver both online and in venues and I love the work.
I feel they are supremely well-designed and developed by the Teams involved. They include many behavioural change techniques and are updated and improved regularly. Driver behaviour and human psychology fascinate me!

Regarding Driver psychology, I have been on multiple courses, multiple times by Lisa Dorn, Fiona Fylan and Ian Edwards amongst others. They are highly qualified and experts in their fields, and I have learned so much from them over the years.

I have also learned from my Colleagues over these precious years too. Observing delivery techniques and their deep understanding of our Clients and their barriers has helped me immensely.

Without exploration and course development from the experts regarding behavioural change, Courses like Speed Awareness would not have altered format.
Some years ago, as an example, the courses were far more shocking in places gorey! The findings were that this shock tactic had a short-term effect regarding changes in behaviour.

93% of injury collisions are caused by Driver or Rider error!

The wrong speed at the wrong time, not really concentrating, distracted driving, or deliberately violating the rules are some examples of barriers for all drivers. (the 7% are things like heart attacks at the wheel or a tree falling on a car rather than bad weather – bad weather would be an example of the wrong speed at the wrong time).

When we think of Driver Education there are also the ad campaigns like the seat belt “clunk-click!” campaign or the TV infomercials about drink driving. All of these are funded to increase driver awareness and as Educational Road Safety Interventions.
Why am I writing such a long blog on this subject?

… Because I believe that as a community of road safety experts, (PDIs and ADIs): we can make a bigger difference!!

I believe that if we develop our skills to understand driver psychology and behaviour more deeply we can sow the seeds for our drivers’ future.

Our Industry is usually based on a hierarchical Trainer led approach which just deals with the skills needed to pass the Driving Test. If I repeat this statistic from earlier in my blog “93% of injury collisions are caused by Driver or Rider error”; when and how do we address these things with our new drivers?

It is the basis of our need to understand the Goals for Driver Education (GDE). Not to seek to train this in sessions; but for us as Trainers to understand how and why this is so important!
Driving post-test is what the GDE helps us to address as topics during sessions.

[ https://road-safety.transport.ec.europa.eu/european-road-safety-observatory/statistics-and-analysis-archive/young-people/content-training-best-practice_en ]

‘Telling’ someone not to speed, drink and drive or concentrate at all times does not help a driver self-manage these daily barriers once they pass their test.


It is hard not to speed when late for something important! Or when you know there are no cameras!


It is hard to stay focused and not drive on autopilot. I find that hard too!


Telling someone to keep a 2-second gap does not help them maintain it months or years later because it rarely ‘goes wrong’! Most of the time there is no emergency.

So the Confirmation Bias of ‘I’m a good driver, I am safe’ is reinforced even when they regularly drive too close.
It is hard not to be tempted to drink and drive (for some) and even harder not to make a mistake the morning after.

Every one of us who cares about our New Drivers wants to make sure they do not end up being one of those heartbreaking deaths or seriously injured statistics!

Almost every day when working at least one person tells me that “2 Car Lengths” is a safe gap to have between you and the car in front! For any number of reasons, they have not remembered that it is a unit of time and not space that counts. There are too many occasions where people say.
“Ah yes! My instructor always told me that ‘tyres and tarmac’ is a safe following distance”!! People make mistakes. All of us.

How can we address these things in our newest drivers?

During my PDI Training, I was not given any information about human behaviour, human diversity or about how our emotions affect our driving.

… Let alone how to help a nervous driver develop strategies that reduce the effects on their performance. I have learned more and more over the years because I can see the benefits of other approaches using other fields of expertise.

Most of us are affected by life’s stresses and pressures and these will affect our choices on the road.

My training is now based on ‘evidence’ and it all relates to the individual at the wheel. They are the ones who understand their situations and barriers to driving safely.

It is about helping someone see the facts from their perspective.  Understanding the benefits and costs, rather than us using negative consequences as leverage for change. I aim to avoid a fault-focused approach.

I have immense job satisfaction because my approach is solution-focused whether the driver is new or holds a full licence to drive.

Since qualifying in 2003 I began my own CPD journey in 2011.
Paying for courses and completing qualifications has helped me immensely, but most importantly it has benefited the Drivers I have the pleasure to work with every day; from the learners and full Licence holders to fleet drivers, PDIs and ADIs.

If I would try my ‘Instructional techniques’ of telling or using fact-based leverage [eg If you drive too close you will crash or don’t speed or you will get a ticket, or indeed, adapt the lesson when you need to during your Standards Check] there would be little understanding of what or how to make a lasting change.

To commit to lasting changes, we need to see the benefits (rewards or gains).

During Standards Check training, simply telling an ADI to do this, this and this during their check does not help them ‘do it’ in the moment! NOR appreciate the reasons why they might like to think about adapting their practice.
They need to practice the new techniques irrespective of a Standards Check being imminent.

Should we fix in advance of the Standards Check or fix the training we give to Drivers daily?

We as Driver Trainers need to understand the benefits for us and our customers. We can take steps to steer away from the fault focus that ‘seems’ to have worked within the industry to date.

In 2014 within the first week, ADIs came to me for some rescue training after failed attempts at their Standards Check.
Some were in the business for 20 and 30 years, were not successful on the Check.

Some came to find out what the changes meant compared to the outdated Check Test. I cherish the confidence that people had and have in me for their Professional development.

They sought me out months before I offered SC training officially. They chose me because of my outspoken passion for Coaching and Client Centred techniques.

But why was the Standards Check introduced?
It seemed a sudden overhaul to many.
Yet once again, it is all part of the three Es (Education, Engineering and Enforcement), and more specifically the Educational aspect.

Research suggests that Drivers who are trained to self-evaluate using Client Centred and Coaching approach are more likely to be able to rectify their errors and prevent a recurrence. This means that after a near miss, they adapt or approach new and unusual situations with their solution-focused processes honed while they are learning to drive.

In my opinion, this is what ‘driving experience’ gives a person; the ability to look at the evidence and risk assess that information at any given moment. My development meant that I became better at ‘getting the learning out’ from Drivers, rather than putting my information ‘into them’! No briefings, merely filling in the gaps. There is a myriad of techniques out there.

If we are to spearhead an Educational Revolution phase in Safer Driving post-test – we have to add more variety to our in-car training sessions. Telling people facts and explaining exactly what to do will be the best way to learn for only a minority of people. The majority, however, will benefit more from exciting reward-filled training sessions.

This alternate approach is what I am passionate about sharing with other Driver Trainers out there. I did not know ‘how’ to get the most out of my drivers, and it has taken me years to understand what I was missing! I have improved and gained more insights from the Fleet and Full Licence holder work. Most use a different approach for full licence holders otherwise rapport is instantly lost. In my opinion, we need to use the same techniques for learners as well as full licence holders.

Think about it; can I ever gain engagement or agreement if I tell a Delivery Driver not to speed between jobs? Work pressures are paramount in their minds. The pressure of having two or three hundred drops in the average working day must be overwhelming.

The average adult will comply and agree to requests during training interventions, and then revert to old behaviours as soon as the ‘behavioural control’ (me) has gone. While we are present, the Full Licence Holder is likely to comply until the session ends; and for no longer than that.
’Evidence-based’ training methods have more lasting results in my experience.


I have delivered industry-specific Coaching Courses in the classroom and in the car. My courses are bespoke. I adapt sessions to what the person that comes to me wants to focus on.


We are all different! Training the Trainer must be designed around the PDI or ADI.  We must offer tools that can be adapted within a program, or offer specific techniques that can be chosen by a person.

I believe our industry on the whole is stuck in an instructional approach that other educational environments are not. Schools and Colleges have changed dramatically over the years.
Some Driver Trainers have changed, and many individual PDIs and ADIs deliver exceptional sessions.

But can we get even better at this?


Undeniably, New Drivers often go through an ‘expressive phase’ once they pass the test; and there will always be the thrill seeker issue. I doubt we can address those easily.

The expressive phase we might recognise in ourselves post-test. It is the day after we pass – that moment we begin to steer one-handed, window down, arm hanging out, accelerating like we stole the car. I did it all in my lame attempt to ‘look cool’!
Luckily for me, my expressive phase was limited by my own anticipated regret… my mental dialogue of “but what if….”

Another barrier to the safest driving post-test is the development of the human brain. The risk assessment part of the brain does not fully mature until around the age of 25 or so. It is not that the brain is not an adult brain – just that risk is perceived differently at this age. Not many 45-year-olds take up parkour, or cliff diving because the brain has a different perception of the ‘risks’ involved and can anticipate the regret of it all going horribly wrong.

I understand that youthful driving will not stop but most new drivers will, for the most part, aim to drive safely most of the time.


The important implication for us as Driver Trainers as I see it is that we can discuss these barriers during our sessions! Not solve or admonish but sow some seeds for that person to grow into. Limiting the expression of youth is something we can merely address not solve.

By using the healthiest of training environments to sow the seeds of:

  • Managing stress when driving
  • Dealing with delays
  • Dealing with peer pressure
  • Road rage
  • Work pressures
  • and the myriad of barriers that we face.

We can instigate possible coping strategies whilst they are still learning the basics. These are likely to change and alter over time. It is our nature to do this.

I do not suggest fixes will be permanent or completely effective but addressing these issues early plants the seeds for growth later.


I believe that together, we can sow the seeds in our new drivers that will help them manage, maintain, and develop their own skills post-test. Studies have shown that Drivers who are accustomed to Self-Evaluation are the ones who rectify their near misses. They have the skills to actively risk assess during their drives from day one. Coached Drivers have increased emotional intelligence and have begun to develop their coping strategies to manage nerves before their test, and anticipate remedies for dealing when they are late for a meeting.


On average:
5 people every day are killed on our roads in the Great Britain

74 people are seriously injured [loss of limb, paralysis, months in hospital]

344 slight injuries [whiplash, breaks, sprains, stitches]

As I said earlier 93% of the KSI (Killed and Seriously Injured) statistics are due to Driver or Rider error and are avoidable.
There are theories about how we ‘intend’ to behave in a certain way… and the contributory factors that help and hinder those intentions.

Our presence in the car is a constant ‘behavioural control’ for our Driver whilst learning!
There are no simple answers of course… no quick fixes to reducing death and injury on our roads!

I am part of a movement in our industry to tackle this massive safety issue.

How can we help someone think about their own choice of speed when we are not next to them? When might they make a mistake? What situations might make them feel tempted to speed?

How do we help someone post-test with fatigue or concentration lapses?

How do we help someone with their peers or kids in the car? Kids they may not even have yet?

My upcoming online Course aims to give evidence-based development techniques that will plant those seeds for post-test driving. The course is aimed at PDIs and ADIs to help them address these things early in our new drivers, rather than waiting for a Police Intervention like a Speed Awareness Course.

I hope that with our efforts and conversations early on in a Driver’s development we can lessen or prevent a crash or conviction. We will never know if it has worked or not of course. But if each of us helps prevent a single KSI statistic in our career most of us will be proud and relieved for that. For me, the effort is worth the hope that I can make a difference.

I am not delusional about how much we can do to help reduce these KSI figures, but if we work together, and develop our Profession in these ways, I believe we can make a difference!

Education, Engineering and Enforcement have been developed and enhanced for decades. The three Es have made significant improvements to Road Safety as I have briefly outlined.
Now it is our turn to bring standards up from the ground level. To change the decades of static fault-focused approaches. To sow those seeds of self-management from the start. To delve deeper into what Client Centred Learning can do for road safety. To help new drivers develop strategies to manage the daily barriers that we all face on our roads.

We can sow the seeds for safer driving for life.

If you want to know more about my new ‘Speed’ Workshop, or my other workshops, please send me a message or follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/fiona.taylor.7965692

I’d like to introduce you to Baz…

“Hi… Meet Baz….”

Just had a flashback to Z, a New Driver learning with me back in the day.

Long story short-er (hopefully!) Z was a driver full of anxieties and I have written of her before here in relation to Coaching and my comparison to the old ‘Instructional techniques’ I used.

My memory today was about the day Z formerly introduced both of us to Baz. Baz was her ‘inner road rage daemon’!! Unlike Z, Baz was aggressive and would hurl abuse and close gaps to prevent someone from cutting in etc.

Baz would only emerge in certain circumstances but as you can imagine I was very uncomfortable with these sudden dramatic changes in Z’s behaviour!!

After a few ‘meetings’ with baz and his behaviour; [and before she and I knew who or what he was!!] I thought it was high time we investigated this ‘aggressive behaviour’.

could have done the usual and tell Z that this is not appropriate behaviour. Never close the gap because blah blah blah, and that’s dangerous and all the rest of it. But I knew it would only moderate her behaviour whilst she was with me… or sadly, any other authoritarian figure.
NB – I do not wish to consider myself authoritarian, but by virtue of the ‘Instructor/Pupil’ role set up of all driver training, this is unchangeable.

We chose to chat openly about it. By this time in her training, Z was very comfortable to be honest with me. Phrases starting “I’ll be brutally honest with you” were common 😃

The upshot in a nutshell was that:
– Baz comes out when Z is scared because other drivers put her at risk
– Baz protects her by ‘fighting back’!
– Baz is a confident and bolshy Driver!
– Baz is part of her that she holds back… most of the time!!!

She was quite impressed by the frank discussion… hence we played with the idea and were introduced to Baz [the name Z gave to that inner part of herself].

It could sound a little psychotic to discuss these concepts in this way, however, Z andI decided it would be useful to “””use””” Baz to her advantage.
She discussed many occasions that she and Baz could work together (especially as they are both aspects within herself!!)Baz was sure to help during her driving test, and to get her out of sticky situations. Baz’s alert; all observing driving style would certainly be useful when tired etc etc.

I have forgotten over the years how many times during sessions that Baz would be used and mentioned; what I do remember is that as Z explored her “Expressive Phase” of her driver development…

… she was much more prepared than many to ‘self manage’ the risks of road rage.

[[I never quite manage a short post, do I! – Sorry – thanks for reading though! 🙂 ]]

Guilty??

Fiona Taylor

16 1OcStp6obero1uhm 2cs0a1021ed  · Shared with Public

Public

Does anyone else (other driving instructors that is) have a deep feeling of guilt about how they used to teach? I do.

I feel bad because of how I used to speak to people. How I was told to ‘be in control’ and ‘show them you are in charge’. Actually I was rubbish at it to be honest 😃 The fact is I was told to ‘make them drive how I drive’ and then they will pass their tests. [So; not test focused at all then!!! ] One single event really brought it all home to me.

I was training a lady called Z. Z was one of those people who had massive gaps during her training. One year gap here – two years in between lessons there 😃 Luckily for me she always came back to me – a fact which I absolutely cherish! By the time Z was ready and willing to take her test it was YEARS after she began sessions.

Right in the middle of her training I began my Coaching Journey. It is no secret that I am passionate about my Coaching and the Course that catapulted me into my changes. Z was just as keen on the Coaching – especially because it helped her with her innermost driving demons! (another story for later maybe??) Z really embraced the changes towards Coaching far beyond the understanding I believed her to have.

Here is what happened: – Bear with me – this is around 2013 I think?!I t was the last bout of Z’s sessions. She finally knew that this was ‘her time’ to nail this and begin driving independently with her full licence! She opted to brush up on her manoeuvres as a topic for one session. This was back in the day when we still had Turn In The Road too 😃 She was steadily and confidently working her way through each manoeuver and; as we anticipated, she just needed to have a go and it all came flooding back!… She reflected and implemented any additions to perfection.

I was so impressed, as was she!…… that was until………. until it came to Parallel Parking! — I couldn’t understand it!! She became doubtful, subdued. Apologetic even! Body language changed dramatically!

She said:

“I’m so sorry Fiona. I can’t do this. You will have to tell me what to do again. My mind has gone blank and I’m getting stressed because I can’t remember what you told me to do and when!

When do I check over my shoulder?

When do I turn?

How much do I turn?

… and what was it about the light cluster you said?

I’m so so sorry –

I know you said do something and said about the light cluster

but I can’t for the life of me thing what!!I know you told me loads of times too!”

At this point I just said it’s all fine Z. Relax if you can for a second. No problem at all. Can you explain what you mean? Just take your time because I have just watched you ace all the other manoeuvres. They were all fabulous! – I don’t understand what the difference is with this one…

“Don’t you get it Fiona” she said,”You Coached me for all the other manoeuvres …….. but you ‘Instructed’ me how to do the Parallel Parking.””YOU messed me up!””

😮

I was gobsmacked! She was right! Once she explained I could see it perfectly!

Back in my pure Instruction days (pre 2011), every second session with a New Driver was the same topic. It was one of the only pre-planned sessions I ever delivered. Bay parking was session 2 – and by fluke – it was delivered in a fairly ‘coachy’ way. “My focus” for session two was for the driver to learn about the clutch. My session – my way – learn clutch control now – this way!

The structure was still intended to be lighthearted. Learn clutch control first, then as a bit of fun and a challenge; I would just say, “Go on!! Have a go!! Reverse it into a bay!!” 😃😃 [and they all managed it too 😃 ] The approach was teetering on the borders of Coaching… sadly still Instructor led though.

What Z was pointing out to me (and it was hurting me to hear) was that I had let her, and so many other people down over the years.It may sound drastic to you as a reader. But honestly – I do have a great deal of sadness about this feeling that I have let people down by not having the skills to let new drivers thrive their own way. I wish I had found Coaching right from the start!I am not perfect by any means even now. But I can see that Z was right.All the cockpit drills All the briefings All the talk throughs… just intrusions and hindrances.

“Don’t you see, Fiona – you Coached me to Bay Park –

but Instructed me to Parallel…

so I don’t remember what you ‘told me to do’!”

So – I do have sadness that I have caused these issues in Z and probably other People. I will never know. What I am aware of is that I have delivered NDORS on Road Driver Interventions and been saddened because Full Licence Holders actually get into the car and say “You are not going to make me Parallel Park today are you?? I just can’t do it!!

These are people that I have not met before… but the Instruction legacy is there for many. [not all – I know!]I just wish I knew earlier that it could be so very different 🙂

13Linda Schofield, Suzie Cokayne and 11 others16 commentsLikeCommentShare

Fix the feeling …. and the ‘fault’ will take care of itself

“You did this wrong – that wrong – and all the other things wrong!”

It is all too easy to slip back into my old habit of ‘fault finding’ rather than really delving into the thoughts and feelings of the Driver.

Unravelling the complexities that motivates behaviour is fascinating to me. I really need to understand more from them… Fixing the feeling takes care of the ‘faults’ without a person feeling criticised or feeling resentment towards me.

There is no effort involved in implementation either, because the incentive comes from within. It is certainly more effort to ‘fix a feeling’ rather that just say,

“You are driving too slowly through this crossroads! You have priority – come on!! get a move on! You are doing 13 mph and there is no one around at all!! You can’t keep doing this you know! You have got to sort this out. Come on – I will talk you through it”

I will admit this one took me quite a while!!! To start with I did not mention anything at all about the junction. I began by asking what he liked about his drive so far, and asked specifically about a few things that I knew he had done very well indeed! It turns out that this Driver needed to explain to me (or maybe they needed to hear themselves say) a few things like:- “I need two seconds thinking time!” and – “Oh yes – like it says in the HWC ‘only a fool breaks the two second rule’! [I must admit, I am not used to New Drivers quoting that to me!! 😃 ]- “I loved it when I parked up at the side of the road here because I did it differently this time. I planned it backwards… I looked at the raised kerb really far ahead …. hahahhaaaaa yeah! about 2 seconds ahead of me and worked backwards from there. I knew that van was behind me too. That is why the stop was so good and smooth. Everyone could anticipate my actions too! AND my braking was perfect!! 😃 “.

A little further into the conversation I heard myself asking, “why do you think they put the road signs that far away from the crossroads or roundabout etc?”

“Oh yeah!’ came the answer “sort of two seconds thinking time! Makes sense!””I like being predictable and I hate it when other people confuse me! I need to plan it ahead of time”It turns out that this particular Driver needed to find his solution. His words. His descriptions. His working out. His phrases and thoughts to fix his fear of unpredictable people at junctions.

That was his feeling – fearful of other drivers pulling out at the last minute. There were many discussions and elaborations during that session. His actions led to a multitude of improvements across the board in things like:

  • appropriate approach speed towards and through junctions
  • selecting appropriate gear before hazards (including bends and roundabouts)
  • looking and planning well ahead
  • scanning and being predictable to other road users

I could not unleash the power of that Driver unless he felt comfortable enough to explore and explain what was going on. I am not suggesting that we don’t have exactly the same results with our Drivers by identifying the faults and explaining what to do to correct them… what I am saying is that, in my opinion, I gain so much more by fixing the feelings rather than focusing on the faults.

A Facebook Post From One Year Ago Behavioural Change at work…

This was one year ago – The stages of behavioural change in evidence during a Driver Training session with a new driver… So enjoyable when you let the Driver take control of their session and their learning is exponentially accelerated. 🙂

As a follow up to last weeks post about D’s session focus being on mirrors; I thought I would add a little more to it, as a follow up.

People tell me relentlessly that “Learners never choose a topic or goal for their sessions”. I acknowledge that it can be a long slog for some to feel safe/comfortable to do this. With some techniques though, it is exhilarating (for both ADI AND Learner) when they do naturally take that control .

That is what happened today – even though D does have substantial pre-existing anxiety issues, which does have a massive impact on her when discussing session topics and when giving me feedback and reflections. D was vocalising her Goals with ease (mini goals within the session).

She Chose a route, telling me she would focus on her mirrors (even naturally chatted about what happened and her massive achievements).I asked her which version of the route(s) she would take…. and she even volunteered for a hill and roundabout that has been her nemesis for some time!! She grinned at herself when naming her route!!

The thing that I had never mentioned (Risk agreed) during her ‘mirrors’ session was ‘blind spots’ [or “life saver” checks as I would prefer them to me named}. It would have been overload – and as it was, D expanded her initial Goal to include the mirror named Gertrude too!

Once all agreed and she prepared to move away – she did the most significant blind spot check announcing;” I’m checking over there because I can’t see the alley-way in the mirror… and I know I’m supposed to do that anyway. All my other Instructors moaned at me about them…. but I never found the need until now!! Now I totally get it!!It helps my anxiety to be honest!! To know what is happening around me! I feel so much safer”

She was so efficient with her mirrors during the whole session and even added blind spots in almost every instance to boot!

Another part of her session was the Pull up/Reverse on the right which she had never attempted before… the observations were impressive there too… so natural!!

The “Action” and “Maintenance” sections of the Trans Theoretical Theory of Behavioural Change were in evidence today following on from last week hahahhaaaaa!!! 😃😃😃

It is true though – the learning was there because she initiated the action, the purpose and factualised the rewards!

What a day! Joy for me amongst the current health concerns!! I loved it!

**** Original Post***

“The mirrors were christened (once again) with new names today:

~ on my left meet Wall-E
~ In my centre meet Bob

In order to locate Wall-E we used a small post-it note to highlight efficiently where to look.
The Driver directed me left a bit and right a bit to help her with the placement of the post-it note on the black plastic window border and slightly on the window glass too.

Now she could flick her gaze efficiently towards the yellow colour!
Problem solved!
My Driver found it hard beforehand to actually visually search for that mirror so far from her normal sight line...
...so this was one of her 'barriers' to looking at the left door mirror is the first place.

The right hand mirror only got named because 'it' was being looked at independently even though we had agreed to leave it until a later time to add to the other two once "I have my new habit of looking"...
... being 'nameless' felt a little odd because I was calling it 'nameless' 😃 [Not my place to name the nameless!!! 😃 😃 ]

~ Gertrude was eventually introduced on the right

Seeing as we were only talking about this last week on here (Coaching and Client Centred FB Group) it amused me 😃

I am happy to report that there were so many light bulb moments about 'the benefits to me!!!'

[Please note the pics are web images not mine from today 😃 ]

😃

How to use the ‘inner treadmill’?

By Fiona Taylor

During a conversation with a Dog Trainer recently, I brought up the subject of an episode of The Dog Whisperer (with Cesar Milan) that I saw years ago.

The episode was all about ‘fearful dogs’; and amongst other things I found inspirational during that episode was a statement that Cesar made;
“It is easier to cure a dog that suffers with aggression than it is to cure one that is fearful.”

What has all this got to do with Driver Training you may well wonder? … well let me relay where my mental journey led.

I made massive connections during the TV program all about fearful drivers and similar ‘treadmill exercises’ we have engaged in. Cesar’s TV Program focused on a dog that was terrified of noises; especially loud ones. The program made brilliant use of a treadmill to keep a dog ‘in motion’ while they played the triggering noises through a sound system. Initially, the dog cowered and halted because the fear was overwhelming but the treadmill meant that it ‘had’ to keep moving… after only a couple of seconds the dog continued to walk, though you could tell that is was distressed momentarily, but not overwhelmed as we had seem previously.

My dog trainer friend was saying that is is a brilliant technique because while the dog was moving; it wasn’t able to focus on the ‘scary thing’ for too long… it had to concentrate on one foot in front of the other. Keeping them moving is how to literally ‘get them moving forwards’ to overcoming the problem!

The reason that the dog was taken to Cesar was because it was suffering a great deal and needed help. It would sit and cower in terror, and refuse to move! Over some repeated sessions on the treadmill, the dog was desensitised to most noises, and was able to function and enjoy doggy life and walks with its owners. It was a joyful TV episode for me!

I found it fascinating to realise this is a principle I had used on many occasions with both full licence holders and new drivers. Once the Driver has explained during detailed ‘Coaching Conversations’ what happens, before during and after they drive we both have a clearly defined understanding. Sometimes the solution has been a simple one – and exactly the same principle as for the fearful dog… “just keep moving”!

Exactly HOW that Driver decides to ‘mentally keep moving forwards’ can be where the fun begins! Some have found that doing a hazard spotting [ultra simple commentary drive] has been the solution. They found that relaying the hazards to me helped them feel like they were in control. Others that ‘telling themselves’ what hazard was next helped them keep moving forwards. It helped them look much further ahead so that their mouths could keep up with their brains! It seemed to interrupt one ‘fearful thing’ becoming the overwhelming, halting focus; because the next ‘hazard’ was already there to be acknowledged and dealt with.

The process seemed to reinforce the fact that the Driver had already mastered basic car control and that anticipating real hazards was easy as long as they keep their eyes and brains moving to integrate action. They were dealing in a paced manner, everything that had previously overwhelmed them.
It seemed to ‘slow their world down’!
They were no longer overwhelmed.
Everything became predictable.
Predictable is manageable.
Ultimately it soothed their ‘inner-fear reactions’ to the driving environment.
Even unforeseen emergencies were effortlessly dealt with. The great part of that was stopping at the side of the road to reflect… and watching the dawning realisation that they had dealt with it all independently.

The ‘inner treadmill principle’ is a really useful technique to apply to Driver training… to recognise that a ‘fear’ can often be a cyclical issue where a Driver goes over and over and around and around the same thing! It means that we, as a team, can break the cycle into forward, purposeful motion. The fun is to work out together, what form the ‘inner-treadmill’ comes in.

A review from an Emergency Response Instructor Trainer

This is a review from an Emergency Response Instructor Trainer (non-local Trust) that I am proud and pleased to have received a couple of days ago:
“ “Fiona, I have been following your posts with interest for some time now. Recently I decided to contact you for a chat and guidance of how posts like your one on the “Behaviour-Intention Gap” could apply to the blue light training environment.

I have been working in the blue light industry for 12 years and noticed that the training delivered is very rote and covers levels 1 and 2 of the Goals for Driver Education. These two levels cover behaviourism only.
A lot of emergency instructors know about the Goals for Driver Education unfortunately the biggest factor that is missing within our world of training is levels 3 and 4; these two levels cover the higher order cognitive skills.

I approached Fiona, because of her immense knowledge and skills in the area of Coaching, this would give me a better understanding of how to use this subject within the blue light training world.
Fiona discussed in great deal about “THE BEHAVIOUR-INTENTION GAP”. This is the area where coaching can have a huge impact on an individual’s intended behaviour and how they actually behave in the moment.
My aim was to deliver this session to other emergency response instructors.

Having delivered this session twice, the interest shown by the other instructors was incredibly positive.
It made them identify the missing link within their own training, of which for the majority was the need to address the higher order cognitive skills which can raise an individual’s self-awareness and responsibility.

The link between someone’s intended behaviour and their actual behaviour can only be addressed through coaching and letting the individual work out how to fill “The GAP” through their own self-awareness.

Coaching is something that would benefit the world of emergency response training, my ultimate goal is to try and make a difference, so that all instructors can see the benefits and the difference that it can make in the reduction of crashes caused through operational driving.
However, to do this I need an effective coach, Fiona this is where I will be using you a lot more in the future! Your expertise as already made a great difference to myself and some of the driving instructors that I train and work with.
Thank you for filling “THE GAP!””

[Anon – Emergency Response Instructor Trainer] 2nd May 2020

This person contacted me in response to some of my previous training antics with ‘blue light’ trainers and various Facebook posts.
From what I am learning from both Trusts is that there is scope for developing the training from within to maximise standards and personal development of each individual blue light driver.

I am proud to have been able to offer even a little guidance and direction. A fascinating world that I have had a tiny glimpse into! Thank you for this wonderful review. I appreciate the time it took for you to write this; especially right now as you must be rushed off your feet with training.

How my Career has diversified and blossomed because of my BTEC Level 4 in Coaching for Driver Development…

No photo description available.

‘Me, my BTEC Level 4 in Coaching for Driver Development, and how my Career has diversified and blossomed because of it’.

A question that I am asked frequently is regarding the benefits of paying out for the BTEC Level 4 in Coaching for Driver Development.

It seems that many people focus on their barriers not their benefits.

ADIs are justifiably cautious of finding financial, educational and personal benefits following their initial outlay. Like any other continued professional developmental plan – the investment needs to be seen as a worthwhile. I understand that!

I have never avoided being honest about my own reasons for investing in my BTEC 4 back in 2011. The truth is I was bored and frustrated with the job; I had had enough; and after a mere 7 years as an ADI!

As far as I could see it, my options were to:

a) Get out and retrain in another profession
OR
b) Invest in some further training that would unlock some exciting new pathways

Let me fast forward to present day where I have multiple job roles all underneath the ADI banner.

I have around 14 different ‘job roles’

– including:
Classroom based Driver Intervention Courses like Speed Awareness
BTEC 4 delivery
through to Fleet training and DriverMetrics,
Standards Check Training and Part 3 rescue
as well as selling my Car & Diagram Sets (which have been dual branded with Tri-Coaching Partnership’s TCIT Product for over two years)

I thrive on the diversity of the career that I have worked so hard to develop. It has not always been easy of course. Currently my working week is full of variety, reward and inspiration.

I am writing now about the shock realisation about just how far I have developed because of a sensitive initiative I was invited to be a part of.

I am extremely conscious about that ‘sensitivity’ issue as I write here, so please forgive me for being vague in my descriptions below.

This started a few months ago and is not local to me. I must keep it vague for various reasons – coloured flashing lights would be the singular clue I would offer.

I was approached because of my reputation, my integrity, my previous Facebook posts (like this one) and my skillset including:

*My BTEC 4 Coaching for Driver Development knowledge and
delivery
*Experience with Full Licence Holders and CPD for ADIs
*My passion for Coaching used for driver development
*My understanding of Behavioural Change benefits/courses
*Deeper Learning, and where ‘it’ comes from
*Using the Goals for Driver Education Matrix (GDE) as a tool
*Knowledge that thoughts, feelings and beliefs affect Driver
behaviours profoundly
*Acknowledgement of the gap between an ‘intended behaviour’
and an ‘actual behavioural outcome’ and that there can be
solutions!

It would appear that ‘Influential People’ had been observing my posts and Tri-Coaching Partnership email topics.

I was approached, and of course, I jumped at the opportunity to lead the ‘training’ as they called it.

The invitation was to ‘discuss’ future ‘ideas’, ‘possibilities’, ‘interventions’, and ‘training solutions’ with those Professionals who deliver that Specialist Training I mentioned above.

It was fascinating to be there; to hear about obstacles and inside information. I do not for one minute imagine I am a self-imposed expert, though I can see that being an ignorant outsider gives me a fresh and open perspective.
Their profession might be seen in a similar way to ours – where initiating change within that establishment is fraught with obstacles.

The first meeting went very well (That is the feedback I had at the time plus via a colleague who heard independently about it afterwards
.
But what if?………

But what if I had not taken that chance in 2011 by attending the BTEC Level 4? It would not have launched me into the career path that I am now on – in full swing of experiencing now!
Would I still be as frustrated and un-stimulated as I was then? I think so.

What in your future might you regret if you put off advancing your Personal Development any longer?

Could the BTEC 4 your launch pad?

Could the BTEC Level 4 be the platform and Tri-Coaching Partnership (me included) be the support network that you could use to get you to the job diversity and satisfaction that you deserve?

Is the £30 per week a long term Goal for you to invest in… or a barrier?
How can you sidestep your barrier?

LINKS:
Maidstone, Kent – BTEC Level 4 with me and Elton
https://cx255.infusionsoft.app/…/storeFr…/showProductDetail…

Milton Keynes, Bucks – Btec Level 4 with me and Kev
https://cx255.infusionsoft.app/…/storeFr…/showProductDetail…

Tri-Coaching Partnership
https://www.tri-coachingpartnership.com/

Fiona Taylor – website (under reconstruction!)
Fionadrive.com

#DevelopingADIs

Can You Change Someone’s Else’s Mind?

In my mind’s eye – ‘Conversations in person, on Social Media or even TV debates look similar to this picture. Strong personal opinions that each is desperate to change in the ‘other’.

Some examples might be about:

“I want to take my test soon”

“Coaching vs Instruction”

“Lanes on approach to Roundabouts”

“Trump” [or Brexit] etc etc

“Facts Don’t Change People’s Minds. Here’s What Does” is all about how we are more likely to achieve this – but only with consent. If we are going to be able to change someone else’s mind – we need to accept that we may have to change too! THAT is the difficult part for most of us.

The article does go on to explain way better than I could, how it is not by bombarding people with facts that changes their minds; but an adult ‘openness’ or acceptance of the possibility of change in the first place – coupled with a ‘get out’ clause!!

The ‘get out’ is where we do not want to ‘feel wrong’; and we will naturally avoid that at all costs 😊.
We need to approach with an understanding that the adult will be more open to adapt their opinions “given that there is new information” now. They need to be given space to evolve.

My own experiences over the years – for example delivering Speed Awareness Courses, or discussing Coaching for Driver Development is that if we approach someone with respect and give them the “get out” so that they do not loose face; a new opinion may be established from within.

The trick is to find their ‘get out’ as well.

If you are interested in the best description; please click the link to the original article here:

https://heleo.com/facts-dont-change-peoples-minds-heres/16242/?fbclid=IwAR3nVInIB0JyoZlZ8pPAlTB3Ot7QkWCf-1BzluL9OCGr7Hu4TpigGY9ImHA

Fiona

A lovely article – designed for kids but appropriate for all of us I think

‘Dear Kids, Love From Your Brain.’ What All Kids Need to Know About the Brain

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'Dear Kids, Love From Your Brain' - What All Kids Need to Know About the Brain

 

Kids do great things with the right information, and any information we can give them about how to become the best version of themselves will lay a sprinkling of gold dust on their path to adulthood. They have enormous power to influence the structure and function of their brain in ways that will build important skills and qualities, such as resilience, courage, confidence, and emotional and social intelligence. First though, we need to give them the information they need to perform their magic. Here’s what all kids need to know.

All great things need a few good instructions and your brain is up there with the greatest things of all. If your brain could talk, here’s what it would want you to know.

Dear You,

I love being in your head because it’s magnificent and because I’m the centre of attention up here. We’re going to be together forever, you and I, so here are some things you should know about me.

First, some basic info.

I’m made up of about 85-100 billion very small building blocks called neurons, which are brain cells. If you were to count them one by one, it would take around 3000 years. It would also take a lot of patience and a distraction-free zone because it would be dreadful to lose count at like, 84 billion.

I’m kind of complicated, but fabulous. There are lots of different parts to me – a thinking part, a listening part, a memory part, a feelings part, and many more. Being able to do something well depends on the connections between neurons inside the different parts and between the different parts. You can actually design me to be the best brain for you. Brains can change, and you’re the superstar who can change me.

The secret to making your brain the very best brain for you.

Every time you think, feel or do something, the messages travel along the neurons that are connected to that thought, feeling or action. This forms a pathway in the brain. Whenever you do that action, feel that feeling, or think that thought, the messages travel along the same pathway. Whenever you do something over and over, that pathway becomes stronger and stronger. The stronger the pathway, the stronger that part of your brain, and the easier that behaviour, thought or feeling will be.

Here’s an example. When you first learn to ride a bike, you wobble and fall – a lot. That’s because the ‘riding a bike’ pathways in your brain aren’t very strong yet. The more you ride, the stronger the pathways get, so the easier the ‘this is how you ride a bike’ messages travel around to the parts they need to travel to. Over time, the pathways gets stronger and you become a genius on the bike. Nice.

This can also happen in ways that aren’t so great for you. If you keep doing something that’s bad for you, like eating loads of sugary treats, or yelling every time you get angry, the ‘I need sugar,’ pathways, or the ‘I’m going to yell’ pathways in the brain will become very strong and will drive you to keep craving sugar or yelling.

You have enormous power to develop amazing skills and qualities and to get better at the things you want to be good at.

Whatever you do a lot of now, you’ll be great at.

During childhood and adolescence, your brain is primed to learn things well. This is why it’s easier for kids to learn a language than it is for adults – because the brains of kids and teens are wired to learn, with plenty of neurons ready to organise themselves into strong, beautiful pathways. =

Use it or lose it.

There is only a limited amount of space up here in your skull, so to be the most effective, most powerful, best brain for you, I keep the pathways you use a lot, and fade the ones you don’t use as much. This makes sure there’s enough space and brain energy to build the pathways that are important for you – which are the ones you use a lot.

For example, if you learn a foreign language, the ‘learning a language’ pathways will strengthen and develop quicker and stronger than they would in adulthood. If you don’t learn a language, these pathways will fade away, to leave room for the pathways you want to use more. It doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to learn a foreign language – absolutely you’ll be able to! It just means that it won’t be as easy to do as it is during childhood and adolescence.

Your thoughts can change your brain too – so make them good ones.

Thoughts can release brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) and electrical impulses that can also create pathways in your brain. These pathways will influence your feelings and behaviour. This is why it’s so important that your thoughts are healthy, positive and strong. When you think brave thoughts, ‘I can do that’, or ‘whatever happens I’ll be okay,’ those thoughts form a pathway. The more you think those thoughts, the more real they’ll feel. Brave thoughts (‘I can do this’) lead to brave behaviour. Calm thoughts (‘Breathe in … Breath out …’) lead to calm behaviour. Anxious thoughts  (‘what if something bad happens?’) lead to anxious behaviour. Remember, thoughts, feelings and behaviours don’t need to match. You can feel anxious and think brave, or feel anxious and do brave.

But how do the messages travel between neurons?

This is why I love being your brain. You’re a thinker, and that’s an excellent question. Messages travel from one end of the neuron to the other end with electrical impulses. Your brain creates enough electrical impulses to power up a small light bulb – so don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t powerful! Once the message (the electrical impulse) gets to the end of the neuron, it has to jump to the next neuron. Neurons don’t touch – there’s a teeny space between them. The message jumps across the gap to the next neuron by chemical messengers called neurotransmitters. Having the right balance of neurotransmitters is important because it can affect your mood, how well you sleep, how well you learn and remember, how stressed or anxious you feel, your motivation – so many things.

I know what you’re thinking … ‘So how can I get the right balance of neurotransmitters?’

There are three powerful ways to make sure your neurotransmitters are at healthy levels.

Eat well. Healthy, nutritious food makes me (and you) excellent.

Being a brain is busy work, so you need to fuel me up with good food – oily fish (salmon, tuna – tinned is fine), eggs, blueberries, chia seeds, cabbage, avocado, soy. Don’t scrunch up your face. They’re delicious. If they don’t taste that delicious to you, it’s because the pathways aren’t there yet. It can take about seven tries of a new food to be okay with it. So let’s make a deal. Try the foods at least 7 times. If that sounds gross, try licking it a few times, then seven times when you chew and swallow. This will help to strengthen the ‘this food is okay’ pathways, and the food won’t taste so disgusting.

Get your body moving.

I don’t have legs. You know that right? So I need you to move. Exercise increase the neurotransmitters that help you feel happier, less stressed, less anxious, and the ones that help you focus, learn and remember, and think positive thoughts. Scientists have found that a neurotransmitter called GABA can help people to stop thinking negative thoughts that make them worried, sad or anxious. We all have those thoughts from time to time, but you want to be able to stop them when they’ve outstayed their welcome. Exercise helps to get GABA to healthy levels so it can help manage anxiety and negative thinking. Exercise is a brain booster. I love it.

Get plenty of peaceful zzz’s.

I do some of my best work while you’re sleeping. I help you deal with your emotional ‘stuff’, I help you understand what you’ve learned, and I strengthen your memories. It’s also when I can get creative because I’m not having to take care of other things that keep me busy when you’re awake, like walking, talking, listening, balancing.

Do mindfulness. Brains love it like a favourite thing.

Brains love mindfulness – probably even more than we love pictures of furry baby animals. Mindfulness helps brains to be calmer, braver and stronger which helps you to be calmer, braver and stronger. Here’s how it works. Mindfulness strengthens the pathway between your thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) and the feeling brain (especially the amygdala), making it easier to calm big feelings. Mindfulness can also improve concentration, learning, mood and sleep. Over time, it can help you to feel less stressed and anxious, happier, kinder, more able to focus and more in control of your feelings. There are a lot of awesome apps that can guide you through mindfulness. Here is one (it’s free), and there are some other ways to be mindful here. Try for at least 10 minutes a day. It will help you to be more of a legend than you already are.

I have a thinking part and a feeling part.

The thinking part, the prefrontal cortex, is at the front of the brain. Let’s call it the thinking brain. It’s responsible for thinking things through, paying attention, solving problems, making good decisions, calming big feelings, learning and much more. The feelings part is more towards the back. Let’s call this the ‘feeling brain’.

When something happens that’s good for you (like succeeding at something difficult, trying something new and challenging, doing something brave, exercise, spending time with people who feel good to be around), the brain releases chemicals (dopamine) that help you feel good. Dopamine is the ‘that feels good, let’s get more‘ chemical. It’s job is to drive you to seek more of the things that are good for you.

On the other hand, when the brain identifies something that might be a threat (and not being allowed to do something you really want to do might count as threats), your brain surges your body with chemicals so you can fight the threat or flee the threat. This is the handywork of the amygdala – an important part of your feeling brain. The amygdala is like your own fierce warrior, there to protect you. When you’re feeling big feelings like anxiety, anger or sadness, it’s likely that your amygdala thinks that there is something it might need to protect you from and is sending messages to the other parts of the brain to act a certain way. This might be to fight the danger (maybe by yelling, screaming, arguing, fighting, or saying ‘stop!’ or ‘no!,’) or to flee the danger (perhaps by ignoring, hiding, or lying to get out of trouble).

Brains are smart, and yours is magnificent, but all brains can read things wrong sometimes.

Let’s get something straight – there are no bad feelings. All feelings deserve to be there, but sometimes what you do with your feelings can land you in trouble. The feeling brain and the thinking brain need to work well together, but it doesn’t always happen this way. When feelings are big, the feeling brain can overwhelm the thinking brain and send it ‘offline’ for a while. This is the work of the amygdala – that fierce warrior part of your brain. If you actually are in danger, having your amygdala take control can be a great thing. If there is a wild animal coming at you for example, your amygdala doesn’t want you to think too long about whether the animal is lost, hungry, angry, or how it got it’s fur looking so fab. It just wants you to get safe, so it sends the thinking brain offline until the ‘danger’ has passed.

Here’s the problem. Amygdalas are do-ers, not thinkers, so they’ll act first and think later. They can be a little overprotective and can take control even when there’s nothing to protect you from. An example of this is when you’re not allowed to do something you really want to do. Your amygdala might hear that as a threat and send the thinking brain offline. When this happens, you might not think clearly about the consequences of what you’re doing, or whether your response is necessary. If your response is to, say, yell or scream (fight) or lie (a type of flee), that can mean trouble.

None of this means you can blame your brain when things go wrong. If your brain gets into trouble, you’ll get into trouble, so you have to be the boss of your brain. Feel your feels, but be smart about it. Things will always work out better when your feeling brain and your thinking brain are able to send strong messages to each other but to do that, you need to keep your thinking brain strong. Mindfulness and slowing down to think of the consequences are ways to do this. If you feel as though your amygdala is taking over and your thinking brain is about to tap out, strong, slow, deep breaths and mindful clouds will help to keep it online.

Mindful clouds.

Get comfy and imagine your thoughts and feelings are forming into little clouds in front of your head. Let them float around gently and when your ready, blow them away. As you blow the cloud away, feel some of that angry energy or sad energy leaving you. Keep doing this as different thoughts and feelings appear. It’s okay if the same ones keep coming back. Just watch them in front of you, let them float around, then blow them gently away.

Breathe. In. Out. Lovely.

Strong, steady breathing is like a lullaby for your brain. Breathe out to get rid of all the air, then in for 3, hold for one, out for 3. Do this a few times to bring your thinking brain back online so you can calm your big feelings, make good decisions and be awesome. It doesn’t mean your big feelings won’t be there anymore. You might still feel sad, angry or anxious, but you’ll be more able to respond in a way that is strong, brave and better for you. A brain in high emotion is a very busy brain, so it might struggle to remember strong, deep breathing if that isn’t something you’ve done a lot of. It’s important to practice when you’re calm, so the pathways can strengthen. Here are a couple of ways to practice.

Hot cocoa breathing: Imagine you’re holding a cup of hot cocoa. Breathe out, then smell the warm, chocolatey smell for 3, hold it for one, then blow it cool for 3.

Figure 8 breathing: Imagine drawing a sideways figure 8 on your arm, your leg or anywhere that feels lovely. Breathe out, then as you draw the first belly of the 8, breathe in for 3, when you get to the middle of the 8 hold it for one, then as you trace the second belly of the 8 breathe out for 3.

While we’re on the feel-goods, let’s talk about addiction.

Addiction is something that happens in the brain and it can happen to anyone. It comes from the same mechanism that helps us feel good when we do the things that are good for us. You’ll remember we talked about dopamine, the ‘I want more’ chemical that’s released when you get something you want. Addictive drugs release two to ten times the amount of dopamine that healthy things like facing challenges or being with friends do. This means the feel-good rush is more intense, quicker, and more reliable. But there’s a problem. Addictive drugs cause so much dopamine to be released that the brain becomes overwhelmed. The only way brains can deal with the blasting of dopamine that comes with drug use is to release less dopamine. Think of it like turning down the volume on a stereo that’s blasting you with noise.

Here’s the problem – with less dopamine, it becomes harder to feel good. The only way to get those feel-good feelings is with more of the drug, so the drug becomes more wanted and more important than other healthier things that used to feel good. When the effects of the drug start to wear off, the person goes into withdrawal. Withdrawal feels awful and makes people sick, anxious, depressed, angry. To stop this awful feeling, people have to take more of the drug. This is how addiction happens. As your brain, I’m there to look after you, but you also have to look after me by not letting things into your body that are going to hurt me. Let’s make a deal. I’ll keep helping you to be excellent, and you stay away from addictive drugs – they’re bad for both of us.

The Social Brain.

People feel safer, stronger and wiser in groups because it’s how we look after each other and share information. I’m constantly on the lookout for information about who feels good to be around, who doesn’t, what people might be thinking of you. I don’t always get it right. Like I said, I’m super smart but I can read things wrong sometimes. When this information is positive, it feels good – great actually. When it’s negative, as it is when people are excluded, rejected, humiliated or bullied, the information gets sent through the same pathways as physical pain. This is because pain motivates us to act, and when something feels dangerous, like being excluded, rejected or bullied, the brain sends out messages to get us to act – to either look for support or to avoid the threat. It’s really important to think about the impact you might be having on the brains of people around you. You’re really powerful – we all are – and kind kids are the coolest kids of all.

I learn best if you take small breaks.

I LOVE learning, so when you expose me to new things or face a challenge (a good one not a stupid one), I reward you with feel-good brain chemicals. I’m designed to be curious and to snap to attention when things change, so I do my best learning when you take small breaks. While we’re talking about learning, your sight, hearing, speaking and movement have their own memory banks. If you’re learning something, the more different ways you can learn it the better. So, listen, write, touch, and say what you need to learn. If you can, act it out. And if you act it out, do it in front of a mirror so I can see, because I think you’d look fabulous doing that.

And finally,

You have extraordinary power to shape your brain in ways that will help you to be good at the things you want to be good at. Don’t worry if you make mistakes along the way because it’s how I learn, strengthen and keep you shimmering. You’re a magic maker, a king, a queen, a legend. Write it on a note and stick it on your mirror. There is so much ‘awesome’ in you. Be brave enough to believe it, and know that with time, effort and patience, you can get better at anything. We’re an amazing team you and I. Thanks for believing in you.

Love from,

Your brain.